fantachetic | ic inbox;; drift fleet

[ She's quick to move and place the bottle of wine on whatever surface is nearest before she goes and practically collapses on his bed, stretching both her arms - two! She has two arms! - out, wiggling to make herself comfortable. She's clearly tired but not willing to admit it, her smile soft and fond as she looks at Dorian. ]

Do you think I don't gossip with my friends, Serah Pavus?

[ Lifting her head, she grins. ]

We both have suitors. We just need to figure out how to handle them, don't we?

[ The invasion of space is welcoming beyond words, and it feels like what coming home must feel like. He settles into the space beside her hip, opting to sit down with his legs hanging over the bed's edge. ]

Should I be appalled that you're gossiping about me?

[ Her comment makes him stop, brow furrowing for just a moment. He doesn't know if suitor is the correct word to use with Cyril just yet. He's hesitant to put a label on anything in case the elf gets bored of him. Emotions are messy and sex is distracting. It's a much better alternative to heartbreak. ]

And how is our spirit friend treating you? I don't have to have words with him, do I?

[ All Leilani does is shift so she can press her face into his thigh, wiggling a little to make herself more comfortable, her smile soft and fond as she welcomes him at her side. She adores this man, she thinks. ]

I think you should be impressed that you're so interesting that we can't help ourselves.

[ Breathing out, she shifts, pushing herself back up and pushing hair out of her face. There's a discomforting twist in her stomach as he brings up Justice and she purses her lips before she speaks. ]

No, you don't have to say anything. I'm thinking it might be better for the both of us if I called things off.

I do love being the topic of conversation when it is in a positive light.

[ He watches as she shifts into a more upright position, trying to keep the concerned frown off his face. Dorian is about to voice his relief when she proposes to end everything. ]

Might I ask why? You were quite happy with your situation the last I was aware. What has changed?

It's always positive when it comes to you, Dorian.

[ Leilani pauses, hesitating for a moment, before she waves her hand. ]

I don't think we have the same expectations, that's all.

Enlighten me on the subject.

Dorian.

[ She gives him a slightly petulant look. ]

Leilani. [ He ignores the look, merely raising an eyebrow. ]

[ She sighs, softly, leaning back onto the bed. ]

He's a spirit. I doubt he wants the same things I do.

While a spirit's manner can't change much, that doesn't mean it can't evolve to something else.

Have you discussed these things with him, or merely assumed?

We talked about it when we first started... Doing things together.

[ Frowning, she shakes her head. ]

He's not... He doesn't fall in love, Dorian.

Not by mortal expectation, no. I believe spirits are a bit more.. nuanced.

If you are unhappy, then by all means, end it. I'd hate to see you be a part of something you were unhappy with.

I'm not unhappy. I just know that in the future I will be.

[ Lifting her head, she looks over at Dorian with a small, sad frown. ]

I thought I was going to be able to do it. I thought it would be fine, after Solas, but I was being foolish again.

Do you know for certain that you will?

What other trepidations do you have on the subject? I know you've not asked for my opinion.. however, you simply cannot compare every future liaison to being with Solas.

Dorian, he - we discussed him... Learning these things. That he'd never really feel what a human does, I...

[ Her hand lifts and touches the wolf jawbone around her neck. ]

... I'm scared. Isn't it easier to end it now than get closer knowing my heart will break again?

Is it easier not letting yourself feel something and avoiding it entirely than it is to simply enjoy something for one fleeting moment? Of course it will hurt, but being hurt feels better than feeling nothing..

So I should admit that I'm falling in love with him despite knowing that he can't return it?

..All things considered, a thoroughly better decision. At least he is not capable of betrayal.

[ That makes Leilani's eyes dart to him in surprise and a pang of something painful rip through her. She touches her hand to the jawbone and pushes herself up, walking over to the wine. Oh, she needs it, especially now. It hurts and her eyes are a little damp. ]

You're right. At least I'm not being stupid a second time.

[ As soon as it's out of his mouth, he instantly regrets it. The look on her face are painful, and he's a terrible person for giving her the reminder that she didn't need. He can't take them back, so it does little good for apologizing for what he's said, even if it was a bit crass. ]

It wasn't your fault, what he did. [ He rubs the bridge of his nose, trying to salvage something of this conversation. ]

I don't think this constitutes as stupid. Risky, perhaps.. but not stupid.

[ All she can do is shake her head. He's not wrong, that's the problem. Justice won't betray her, she's sure of that - it's in his nature to be good, and kind, and honest, even if it hurts other people, just as Dorian is being with her right now. It doesn't make her heart hurt any less, though, even as she waves off Dorian's words. ]

I trusted a man with no name, no proof of his heritage and too much knowledge for it to be sensible. It was my own fault.

[ She pours herself some wine and just holds it for a moment. ]

Everything I've done over the last four years has been risky. I might as well add my love life to it.

Yes, absolutely and entirely your fault for falling in love with someone who you thought was being genuine with you and throwing your naivety of the situation in your face..

[ While she is too trusting at times, that's not her fault- it's her caring nature. Of course she was led to Solas like a moth to flame. So like her in every fashion and the trappings of ancient knowledge she'd yet to understand. Did she truly need to know his heritage? He knew so much of it then, when no one else did. ]

You can't help who you fall for any more than I can.

It doesn't change the fact that what you said was right, Dorian. Justice isn't going to betray me like Solas did. It's not in his nature.

[ Her fingers circle the glass of wine and she stares at it for a long, drawn out moment before she takes a steeling breath. ]

He's not Solas. I fell in love with a man who told me a dozen times that I should stay away from him. Now I'm doing the opposite, as if that's going to make it better.

[ Dorian stands, though he moves around the bed to give Leilani a bit of space. He can't simply sit there when it feels like his muscles are electrified. ]

If he's so dissimilar to Solas, then why aren't you letting that bastard go? Why do you continue to carry that reminder of how he cast you aside around your neck?

You'll never stop comparing him to Solas if you don't move on. [ It's a conversation they've had before, but it bears repeating. ]

[ The words sting, half because she knows he's right - she needs to move on from Solas and she thought she was doing well in that regard - and half because she's furious with him for speaking to her like this. There's an anger that burns under the surface and she puts the glass down, turning to face him. ]

Do you think it's that easy to forget someone like Solas? You met him! I loved him more than I have loved anything in the world, Dorian. I believed that when the Inquisition was over he and I would be able to live together and be happy.

[ Her eyes are definitely filling with tears now. ]

He was the first person I ever loved and there is nothing I want more than to save Thedas and save him with it, even if I know we will never be together again. How am I supposed to just forget that? Just move on? [ She laughs bitterly. ] He changed everything, Dorian. I am trying, with everything I have. I truly am, but it's not good enough.

[ First things first. She downs the wine in one long drink before she finally turns to look back at Dorian, shaking her head. ]

... I think I need to go. All I am doing is getting angry with you, and - and that isn't fair.