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Perish the thought. Nothing compares to the ones I have already.
[ After a few moments of reluctance, Dorian nods in agreement, moving up on the bed so they can stretch out under the layers of blankets. He can see the request for what it is, even if she doesn't voice it. He is grateful that she isn't fussing, at least. There are others who ended up worse than he did, and he's perfectly fine healing naturally- even if it's rather tiresome and long-winded.
Once he's settled next to her, he huffs in amusement. ]
You're the first woman that's managed to get me into bed. [ It's not an uncomfortable thing by any means, merely a humorous observation. If he weren't comfortable with Leilani, he wouldn't have conceded to her request. ]
[ After a few moments of reluctance, Dorian nods in agreement, moving up on the bed so they can stretch out under the layers of blankets. He can see the request for what it is, even if she doesn't voice it. He is grateful that she isn't fussing, at least. There are others who ended up worse than he did, and he's perfectly fine healing naturally- even if it's rather tiresome and long-winded.
Once he's settled next to her, he huffs in amusement. ]
You're the first woman that's managed to get me into bed. [ It's not an uncomfortable thing by any means, merely a humorous observation. If he weren't comfortable with Leilani, he wouldn't have conceded to her request. ]
I'd be devastated if we had to get you a new pair. These are charming.
[ But he moves, at least, and for a moment Leilani wonders just how comfortable he is - is he doing this because he wants to, or because he feels obligated? Then she feels a spark of foolishness. No one can make Dorian Pavus do something he doesn't want to do, not really, and that's not something she expects her to be somehow above. If he didn't want to settle down with her then he'd have told her to go back to her room or something of the like.
He'd tell her to shove off, and it makes her smile even in her own mind.
Settling, she breathes out, relaxing a tiny bit as she turns to face him. ]
I am? [ It doesn't surprise her, not really, even as platonic as they are. Shaking her head, she nudges him gently. ] Don't go telling the whole fleet, ma vhenas.
[ But he moves, at least, and for a moment Leilani wonders just how comfortable he is - is he doing this because he wants to, or because he feels obligated? Then she feels a spark of foolishness. No one can make Dorian Pavus do something he doesn't want to do, not really, and that's not something she expects her to be somehow above. If he didn't want to settle down with her then he'd have told her to go back to her room or something of the like.
He'd tell her to shove off, and it makes her smile even in her own mind.
Settling, she breathes out, relaxing a tiny bit as she turns to face him. ]
I am? [ It doesn't surprise her, not really, even as platonic as they are. Shaking her head, she nudges him gently. ] Don't go telling the whole fleet, ma vhenas.
You enjoyed yourself. You absolutely should consider it!
Perhaps. It's not something I've done before, so at least I have had the experience.
[ Indeed, he wouldn't have moved if he truly hadn't wanted to- excuses are easy enough to come up with. Dorian doesn't believe he would have to with Leilani, she respects him enough to honor his wishes but knows when to demand something of him. Letting himself get used to her proximity, he relaxes a little more against the pillows. ]
I don't know whether my father would be proud, or horrified that we've come full circle. [ Probably at least thankful it was a woman in his bed and not another one of the men on his laundry list of liaisons. The fact that they were elves may take away some of that pride. Not that there's much to be had, but Dorian's past the point of caring much about that anymore.
He smiles fondly at the nudge, adjusting himself so he can lay more on the side that hurts a bit less, arm under the pillow. ] As it happens, I am marvelous at keeping secrets. [ Ah, that's a phrase he doesn't know, and the confusion shows on his face. ]
You'll have to tell me what that one means.
I don't know whether my father would be proud, or horrified that we've come full circle. [ Probably at least thankful it was a woman in his bed and not another one of the men on his laundry list of liaisons. The fact that they were elves may take away some of that pride. Not that there's much to be had, but Dorian's past the point of caring much about that anymore.
He smiles fondly at the nudge, adjusting himself so he can lay more on the side that hurts a bit less, arm under the pillow. ] As it happens, I am marvelous at keeping secrets. [ Ah, that's a phrase he doesn't know, and the confusion shows on his face. ]
You'll have to tell me what that one means.
Edited 2017-11-26 14:05 (UTC)
[ There's a part of her that's very slightly overwhelmed by the trust Dorian is placing in her right now. She knows about his past and his history, and she knows he know she's aware - and to let her be this close to him, to nudge and tease him, to bask in being his friend... It means more to her than she can say. She feels incredibly alone sometimes, drifting in as an Inquisitor with no one that knows her or recognises her, the weight of the world bearing down on her, but in this moment she feels safe. With Dorian at her side she feels as though nothing can threaten her, and she only hoes he feels even a little bit the same.
Snorting, she shakes her head, petulant and frowning all at once. ] I find I couldn't care at all what your father might think of the situation. Apologies, but he hardly made the best impression on me. [ She reaches out to touch his cheek gently, though, softening her words - Dorian's relationship with his father is confusing and complicated, and she doesn't want to upset him when, here, together, they're supposed to be relaxing, coming down from nightmares and battles and uncertainties.
She wishes, all the same, that he didn't have to hurt. That he didn't have to keep secrets. That he didn't have to feel as though he was alone. Leilani knows that she's here for him, but she isn't his; Dorian is going to go back to an Inquisitor that doesn't have her face but shares her story, and that makes something uncomfortable knot in her stomach.
His confusion makes her pause, her expression blank as she thinks back on what she said - and then her cheeks are flaming red, her eyes widening a little as she turns her head away. She's embarrassed, but only because she worries about the slip, about pushing too hard, about making him feel uncomfortable somehow in her own happiness and ease. ] Ma vhenas. It's elven. [ Clearly, and she frowns, turning her head to stare blankly at the ceiling. ] It means... 'My home'.
Snorting, she shakes her head, petulant and frowning all at once. ] I find I couldn't care at all what your father might think of the situation. Apologies, but he hardly made the best impression on me. [ She reaches out to touch his cheek gently, though, softening her words - Dorian's relationship with his father is confusing and complicated, and she doesn't want to upset him when, here, together, they're supposed to be relaxing, coming down from nightmares and battles and uncertainties.
She wishes, all the same, that he didn't have to hurt. That he didn't have to keep secrets. That he didn't have to feel as though he was alone. Leilani knows that she's here for him, but she isn't his; Dorian is going to go back to an Inquisitor that doesn't have her face but shares her story, and that makes something uncomfortable knot in her stomach.
His confusion makes her pause, her expression blank as she thinks back on what she said - and then her cheeks are flaming red, her eyes widening a little as she turns her head away. She's embarrassed, but only because she worries about the slip, about pushing too hard, about making him feel uncomfortable somehow in her own happiness and ease. ] Ma vhenas. It's elven. [ Clearly, and she frowns, turning her head to stare blankly at the ceiling. ] It means... 'My home'.
You're an unattached woman whilst you're here. I don't see why you can't figure out what you'd like.
I already know what I like. Dangerous men and women that could slaughter me in my sleep,
apparently.
apparently.
[ Dorian may be many things, but he's not ungrateful. He knows that when he's given something like this, it would be foolish to turn his nose up at it. She already knows what she needs to, or at least has an inclination- she did meet Halward, after all. When he'd come to the fleet, he'd put forth a lot of bravado, much like he had when he'd first joined the Inquisitor. Dorian hadn't known a soul. Thankfully here, people have been a lot more accepting. Of course, it helps that most people don't know about Tevinter.
Oh how he wishes that hurting wasn't such an integral part of who he is. Growing up where he did and in the family he did, of course it's a lot of what he's made of. With Leilani, he's starting to feel like he doesn't have to suffer in silence. Inevitably he will, but for now, he can simply be. ]
That's not a sentiment many people share, but you won't get a protest from me. [ The hand on his cheek is warm, and it brings a soft smile to his face. Then she tells him what she said and his expression falls. It's..certainly much more than he thought it was, and he's not quite certain what he's done to earn it. He's honored, and it makes his chest swell with something like acceptance or pride.
Being someone's home is..there's a lot of pressure, but it's also a comfort. In the end, Dorian is honored more than words can express. He's quiet for longer than he should, but he doesn't quite know what to say to that. Speechless isn't something that he is very often. ]
For as long as you'll have me, I will be.
Oh how he wishes that hurting wasn't such an integral part of who he is. Growing up where he did and in the family he did, of course it's a lot of what he's made of. With Leilani, he's starting to feel like he doesn't have to suffer in silence. Inevitably he will, but for now, he can simply be. ]
That's not a sentiment many people share, but you won't get a protest from me. [ The hand on his cheek is warm, and it brings a soft smile to his face. Then she tells him what she said and his expression falls. It's..certainly much more than he thought it was, and he's not quite certain what he's done to earn it. He's honored, and it makes his chest swell with something like acceptance or pride.
Being someone's home is..there's a lot of pressure, but it's also a comfort. In the end, Dorian is honored more than words can express. He's quiet for longer than he should, but he doesn't quite know what to say to that. Speechless isn't something that he is very often. ]
For as long as you'll have me, I will be.
Only if you're also their type. Otherwise you may be dead.
[ It feels a little bit like an invasion of privacy, being so aware of his life when he is so unaware of her own. A part of her wants to ask after his Inquisitor - what type of person they were, what choices they made, who they were at their heart and core - but she's afraid to hear the answer. She's afraid to hear of better choices made, of a happy story, of love and romance that hadn't turned to ashes and left them damaged and broken in the end. That's her story, and she wants to keep it, to let that be the truth for as long as she can make it so.
What she wants for Dorian, for all her friends, and what they are being given by the world are two vastly different things. She wants Cole to walk a path that brings him joy, wants Cassandra to soften her own guilt, for Cullen to be proud of himself, for Bull and Dorian and Varric to find their homes again. She's not sure if she has the power to do it, but speaking before she thinks is not one of the things that is going to bring Dorian comfort, she's sure of that.
The apology is on her lips before Dorian even speaks, however, and she shakes her head. ] Ir abelas, lethallin. I should have taken more care with my words. [ Pressuring Dorian into a thought or a feeling that he doesn't reciprocate is not on her list of things that she is interested in doing, and the weight on her chest is painful. She draws back and away from him, closing in on herself, simply because it's easier.
This is the true nightmare of this world, she thinks. Not the monsters or the cannibals or the fighting, that she's used to, but seeing the face of a man she loves who has no idea who she is, only knowing her from the kindness that he doesn't think he deserves. It's unfair, and it makes her want to curse the Creators aloud. ]
Rest, Dorian. Do not think I will let your ribs go ignored.
What she wants for Dorian, for all her friends, and what they are being given by the world are two vastly different things. She wants Cole to walk a path that brings him joy, wants Cassandra to soften her own guilt, for Cullen to be proud of himself, for Bull and Dorian and Varric to find their homes again. She's not sure if she has the power to do it, but speaking before she thinks is not one of the things that is going to bring Dorian comfort, she's sure of that.
The apology is on her lips before Dorian even speaks, however, and she shakes her head. ] Ir abelas, lethallin. I should have taken more care with my words. [ Pressuring Dorian into a thought or a feeling that he doesn't reciprocate is not on her list of things that she is interested in doing, and the weight on her chest is painful. She draws back and away from him, closing in on herself, simply because it's easier.
This is the true nightmare of this world, she thinks. Not the monsters or the cannibals or the fighting, that she's used to, but seeing the face of a man she loves who has no idea who she is, only knowing her from the kindness that he doesn't think he deserves. It's unfair, and it makes her want to curse the Creators aloud. ]
Rest, Dorian. Do not think I will let your ribs go ignored.
[ He does the cowardly thing and lets her retreat back into her own space without a word. Perhaps he overstepped a boundary he's not aware of. Dorian shifts, back resting against the cold metal wall with a nod. He doesn't want to intrude on her space, either. After all, she was invited and sought him for comfort and he's being ungrateful. ]
Only if you do the same. [ Sleep will undoubtedly be difficult to find for many reasons, but the one that will keep him from it is replaying their conversation in his mind. ]
Only if you do the same. [ Sleep will undoubtedly be difficult to find for many reasons, but the one that will keep him from it is replaying their conversation in his mind. ]
[ Leilani feels as though she's doing something wrong and she's well aware she's overstepped her bounds. Shifting, she makes herself as comfortable as she can manage, staring down at her hand and watching the Anchor shift and prickle. Her hand hurts, but it doesn't hurt as much as her dreams, and she's afraid that if she falls asleep here she might wake him up in an unpleasant way.
Perhaps she can lie beside him and rest as much as she can without real sleep. He doesn't have to be aware. ]
My ribs are fine. [ It's gentle and teasing, though, and she sighs, leaning back. ] I apologise for coming and depositing this on you, Dorian. It's not your burden to carry.
Perhaps she can lie beside him and rest as much as she can without real sleep. He doesn't have to be aware. ]
My ribs are fine. [ It's gentle and teasing, though, and she sighs, leaning back. ] I apologise for coming and depositing this on you, Dorian. It's not your burden to carry.
Your ribs may be fine, but I am not the one who used themselves as living bait. [ Just a pointed fact, nothing more. He takes the time she stares at her Anchor to inspect it, as well. There haven't been many opportunities, and outright staring is rude. Dorian can't imagine carrying the burden of a mark that wasn't asked for and was slowly killing. Does she fear death, or is it an inevitable fate? He hasn't bothered asking how the Dalish view death, if it matters at this point. ]
..No, it isn't. [ He closes his eyes and sighs through his nose. ] However, you should not have to bear any of it alone. That's what the inner circle is for, is it not? A burden shared is a burden halved. Given our current circumstance, [ He makes a vague gesture meant to signify the Fleet, ] You should take the opportunity to alleviate any burden you're able.
..No, it isn't. [ He closes his eyes and sighs through his nose. ] However, you should not have to bear any of it alone. That's what the inner circle is for, is it not? A burden shared is a burden halved. Given our current circumstance, [ He makes a vague gesture meant to signify the Fleet, ] You should take the opportunity to alleviate any burden you're able.
Dorian, if it's not too much trouble could I ask you to look over something for me?
It's not working the way I want it too and I could use another pair of eyes. Preferably a pair of beautiful eyes that belong to a well educated man. You fit the bill perfectly.
It's not working the way I want it too and I could use another pair of eyes. Preferably a pair of beautiful eyes that belong to a well educated man. You fit the bill perfectly.
It would be my pleasure.
I can meet you on your ship if you would prefer.
I can meet you on your ship if you would prefer.
I'm leaving now, I should be there shortly.
[ Of course he leaves as soon as he sends the message, he's not doing much of anything. Thankfully he's healed properly enough that lying down isn't the only thing that seems appealing. He wanted to ask about Cyril's well being, but it will be easier to see for himself once he gets there.
Dorian wastes no time in the cargo bay, simply seeking Cyril out in his quarters on an assumption. He knocks twice before letting himself in. ]
I was wondering how you fared on that planet. [ And yet, he hadn't asked before now. ]
[ Of course he leaves as soon as he sends the message, he's not doing much of anything. Thankfully he's healed properly enough that lying down isn't the only thing that seems appealing. He wanted to ask about Cyril's well being, but it will be easier to see for himself once he gets there.
Dorian wastes no time in the cargo bay, simply seeking Cyril out in his quarters on an assumption. He knocks twice before letting himself in. ]
I was wondering how you fared on that planet. [ And yet, he hadn't asked before now. ]
[Cyril's room has drawings and diagrams all of the walls. He's working on a prosthetic that will allow him to use a bow again, and his room seems to be consumed with that idea.
He himself seems a pretty as ever, even though his clothes are a bit more casual than normal.
He frowns just a bit at the question and moves his hand to where he had been injured.]
Not as well as I would have liked. I'm hoping this will help, but I need someone else to look it over.
He himself seems a pretty as ever, even though his clothes are a bit more casual than normal.
He frowns just a bit at the question and moves his hand to where he had been injured.]
Not as well as I would have liked. I'm hoping this will help, but I need someone else to look it over.
[ Dorian's eyes linger on the hand that covers the injury, expression briefly one of concern. They made it out, they're alive, and there's not much he can do to relieve the pain for Cyril. Once again, he resolves to try and learn some healing magic at some point.
His attention turns to the various sheets lining the walls, taking in the minute details and the scribbled notes on the design. It's certainly an all-consuming thing, but he can hardly be blamed for it, can he? ]
I will offer whatever assistance I can.
His attention turns to the various sheets lining the walls, taking in the minute details and the scribbled notes on the design. It's certainly an all-consuming thing, but he can hardly be blamed for it, can he? ]
I will offer whatever assistance I can.
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