I wanted to do something. No one should have to suffer that.
[ It is bone deep; it's years and years of being placed on a pedestal, it's months of working herself to the bone, of tracking agents of this and that and Qunari spies and spies of Fen'Harel only to find out that it all comes back to half of them tripping over the machinations of the her ex-lover, who was Fen'Harel himself. Learning the truth about Solas, about the loss of her vallaslin, about everything... It hurts. It's like her entire life has been destroyed and shattered by the revelations.
Lifting her head, she watches Dorian for a moment, feeling shame rush over her. She never wanted to hurt him or upset him, but she can't sit on this knowledge on her own for long. How many people realise the weight of the Anchor? How many people recognise that it's killing her? How long can she survive here? It's a question that has no real answer, and she bows her head. She loathes herself for putting all of this on a man who doesn't know her at all; he doesn't have the same feelings as the Dorian she knew. It wasn't fair.
Closing her eyes, she breathes out. ]
I need to have my arm removed or for Solas to appear and take care of it for me.
[ Neither options fill her with glee, but there's definitely one that's preferable. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2017-11-19 12:24 am (UTC)From:[ It is bone deep; it's years and years of being placed on a pedestal, it's months of working herself to the bone, of tracking agents of this and that and Qunari spies and spies of Fen'Harel only to find out that it all comes back to half of them tripping over the machinations of the her ex-lover, who was Fen'Harel himself. Learning the truth about Solas, about the loss of her vallaslin, about everything... It hurts. It's like her entire life has been destroyed and shattered by the revelations.
Lifting her head, she watches Dorian for a moment, feeling shame rush over her. She never wanted to hurt him or upset him, but she can't sit on this knowledge on her own for long. How many people realise the weight of the Anchor? How many people recognise that it's killing her? How long can she survive here? It's a question that has no real answer, and she bows her head. She loathes herself for putting all of this on a man who doesn't know her at all; he doesn't have the same feelings as the Dorian she knew. It wasn't fair.
Closing her eyes, she breathes out. ]
I need to have my arm removed or for Solas to appear and take care of it for me.
[ Neither options fill her with glee, but there's definitely one that's preferable. ]